For The Person Who Didn’t Move Back Home After College

To Whom This May Concern:

I know that you might be lonely. You might feel defeated. You might miss home more than you ever expected. I want you to know that it is okay to feel those things. It’s also okay to feel like you are having the time of your life and never want to move back home again. It doesn’t mean that you love your hometown or family any less.

If you’re anything like me, you probably switch back and forth between these feelings on a daily basis. Some days I sit at my desk after an argument with my partner and think, “I miss my mom.” I try to dive into my tasks for the day while holding back tears. Other days, I get an update about something at home and think, “I am SO glad I have my own place and a life separate from everything and everyone.” Both thoughts are okay.

Or maybe you’re like me in the sense that you are having the post-grad blues trying to redefine your friend group. You could be questioning whether or not you have a best friend…whether or not you’ll have anyone to be in your wedding party. And maybe these thoughts make you want to binge watch something on Netflix while enjoying a hoard of junk food. Again, that’s okay.

Don’t let anyone think that post-grad depression is not a real thing, because it is for everyone whether you move back home or not. In college, your friends are often in walking distance. It’s super easy to meet up somewhere on campus to stay connected. You and your friends might have even coordinated your schedules to have a class or two together each year. Once you graduate, everyone is spread across the country. You say your goodbyes with promises of weekend visits or shared trips. More often than not, your bank account blocks any chance of such visits and you worry about who you will depend on in hard times if you can’t afford to maintain relationships.

I hope that you know that those who are meant to be in your life will be there. Some of your friends could be thinking the same things as you, and just might not know how to put their words in a meaningful text message to you. The benefit of post-grad life is that the interactions that you do have with your friends become ten times more special. Just the fact that you took the time to reach out and coordinate a time to connect between two, three, or four busy schedules means the world.

Trust me, time reveals which friendships will be genuine and long-lasting. With a real friend, you can go months without seeing each other and immediately feel at home when you see them again. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are alive, breathing, and witnessing a new day. You’re doing at least one thing right. Be proud of yourself.

Love always,

Rye