Battling Envy…Sort Of

Envy…he’s something else. *Insert eye roll emoji* August is one of those months where it feels like envy is winning the battle against solidarity. In August we see our friends and family members starting medical or law school, starting their last year of medical or law school, starting new jobs, finding new romances, moving to new cities…the list goes on and on. We begin to look at ourselves and think, “What am I doing with my life?” If we’re lucky, we can call up a parent, mentor, or friend. Most times, we turn on Netflix to drown out what seems to be the tunes of other people’s success.

Well I’m here to remind you that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Although I have no interest in going into healthcare, I’ve found myself a bit envious of the beautiful black women and men posting photos of themselves in their white coats, marking the beginning of their medical school career. Y’all…envy was pulling on me so hard, I began to question why I got into education in the first place. I shocked the shit out of my partner when I angrily texted him that I was stupid to go into education. I was full of self-doubt and questioned all of my decisions since my first year of college. Luckily, he reminded me about the moment in early August when I shed literal tears about how much I love working in higher education because of the impact I can make on students.

Still, this only sort of snapped me out of my funk. It took a lot of Netflix (I recommend comedies or documentaries), talks with my coworkers and friends, long phone conversations with my mom, and lots of journaling to get me to where I am at this moment. Tbh…I still would love to make more money, but who doesn’t? Still, digging deep and reminding myself of my passions has helped me quickly make a 180-degree turn when I wake up upset or when I see someone posting vacation pics on Instagram. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished in my short 23 years of life and cannot wait to see where my journey takes me next. I hope you start to feel this way soon. Even if you don’t, I hope you know that someone else out there is feeling like you also. You are not alone.

Love always,

Rye

P.S. Maybe August is envy’s birthday month??